Family education should not be errors

1: Let your baby too early to learn computer

Baby is always of interest that come, for example, saw suddenly in love with the computer, parents feel that this is a good thing, not only on the computer frequently to him early childhood CD, and often play computer games together, and baby . Truth analysis: Infant with a computer is not wise, that is, adults use a computer for a long time, will feel dizzy, feeling pain, not to mention addictive, no self-control baby? Coupled with the computer equipment is designed according to adult size, because of the angle and height are not right, it is easy to damage your baby’s vision and bone development.Scientific approach: the children can do many things, can play a lot of things, the computer can wait too late to learn in elementary school.

2: Parenting, dad is an outsider

Truth analysis: a new father and new mother, learning parenting is a process, so do not exclude the husband. He can find his way with children, you may think the child is your own thing, from the beginning, you give children the rate of change diapers quickly, giving him a bath is also very organized. Your husband also needs to find these skills.Because one person to take care of newborns, the workload is too great. Scientific approach: to learn together and progress together. In him to help you, you do not refuse him, do not blame, and continue to command. Some mothers want their husbands to help them, they do not want to rely entirely on her husband. Only determine the child will not be cold, he would not feed their children too much, do not eat after the children played too hard with her intense, no vomiting, can truly trust and rely on their husbands.This is not absolutely necessary, husband and parents to learn with you, you will be more relaxed, you can learn from each other, acquire more skills.

3: and other than children

Truth Analysis: Your child sleeping through the night’s sleep it? He laugh? He could try to sit up? Do not have focused attention on what he has reached the level, not by questioning the impact of these other parents, because then you will feel your baby seems there is always slower than others in local development. Scientific approach: the development of every child is different from the child’s development has its own laws, when you use a normal state of mind and relaxed frame of mind to come back. Does not represent a child climb early development of his well than others, but more parents that he would like to catch up with the pace.

4: too busy to sacrifice their rest

Truth analysis: each new mother said the child sleep during the day when she feels sleepy. But often there are so many things to do at home is very messy, to wash dishes, wash the cup, could not sleep until he exhausted. Survey, the first year of every new mother should lose 400-750 hours of sleep. Scientific approach: as much as possible so that they receive adequate rest. In fact, you should try every day to take a nap, or at least sleep a long sleep on weekends. Without adequate rest, it is hard to be happy in life that the experience of life is happiness. Of course, the rest of the time you may have to do a lot less, but a good rest over the dishes, wash the cup is more important.

5: for the children to spend too much money

Truth Analysis: everyone will tell you, the child will change your life. But no one told you, the child will make your wallet is shrinking, and you wished he could give everything for their children, and no regrets. As you will go hungry as food stores, shopping for a new dad, new mother is concerned if you can not calculation. It is estimated that children in the first year of diapers, clothes, food, walkers and other items would cost about 10,005 yuan. Therefore, a table column will reduce your excess expenses. Looking for experienced parents to buy things with you, she will tell you what is really useful, you may have less bite. Scientific approach: appropriate and reasonable plan expenses. Do not worry about the child’s clothes too, because the child has grown up flash. Toys, too, most babies prefer to play the same thing to play, or even a box is enough for her to play for a while. You had better put the remaining money can be used to take her to the piano or the college.

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The 17 laws of American Family Education (9-17)

Last talked about the American family education in the first 8 points, so the parents in educating our children must pay attention to their own ways and means, first of all we must take the time to really understand the child’s words and deeds and actions, and children as we as parents have not perfect, we should accept the children actually looked like. Then look behind the points:

9. You can tell them about your heart troubles, so that they will understand: they are not the only trouble.

10. Eager to participate in their kindergartens organized activities such as games, performances will, handmade works of exhibitions.

11. There are some things completely for their comments or views.

12. Of their possessions should be respected equally.

13. Let them know that you help at any time and willing to do their backing.

14. For interpretation must be patient.

15. Let the children learn how to deal with sudden incidents.

16. To them that you are very happy to be their parents.

17. Every day can tell them that you sincerely love them.

The 17 laws of American Family Education (1-8)

Parents in educating our children must pay attention to their own ways and means, first of all we must take the time to really understand the child’s words and deeds and actions, and children as we as parents are not perfect, we should accept the children actually looked like.

1. Take the time to learn to truly understand their words and acts.

2. Listen to how they say, and be careful to listen.

3. Not forget to praise – tell them you are proud of them.
 
4. Polite to their friends.

5. Frequently with their children as a negative, not positive as to find some words that said.

6. Just as we as parents, as children, of course not perfect, it actually looked like they might accept it!

7. Often and spend meaningful time with them.

8. Do the child’s brothers and sisters with their deliberately as a “horizontal comparison.”

Psychological laws in Family Education (6-10)

Six psychological law: Hawthorne effect

Hawthorne plant outside Chicago, is a telephone switch manufacturing plant, a more comprehensive entertainment facilities, such as health care system and pension system, but the workers are still angry, production conditions far from ideal. Later, the psychologists conducted a test of their expertise, which uses two years, experts look for workers in private talks the two thousand passengers, provisions in the conversation, patiently listening to workers on the factory to the various views and grievances.

The talks received an unexpected test results: Hawthorne factory’s output value increased significantly.

Children learn and grow in the process will inevitably be confused or dissatisfied, but can not fully express. As a mother, to try to talk out of time with their children, and talk about the process, be patient and to guide their kids to say, say their own lives, learning the confusion, tell your parents, schools, teachers, students, etc. dissatisfaction.

Children in “that” had been the type of meeting would be a form of release, they will feel relaxed and comfortable. So, they will be more efforts in learning, life will be more confident!

Seven Laws of Psychology: Changes in Effect

Interpersonal relationships in the “change effect” means: anyone want them for their love to “growing” rather than “shrinking.” For example, many sales staff is to seize the people of this mentality, when the said goods to the customer is always first grasp a small pile in the pan in a little bit and then inserted, and not be arrested, said a lot on the plate a little bit further out.

When we are inevitably in the evaluation of the child’s weaknesses and strengths of his should tell about it, and often used “first post-pao derogatory” approach. In fact, this is a very good evaluation. In the evaluation of a child, we may use “change effect”, such as some of the first that no harm the dignity of the child minor defects, and then rightly praised … …

Eight Laws of Psychology: The Butterfly Effect

According to the research, the southern hemisphere a butterfly flapping its wings occasionally brought up the weak flow, due to the admixture of other factors, a few weeks, would be hit the United States into a tornado in Texas! Scientists call this disorder “butterfly effect”, and made a theoretical expression: a tiny cause, after a certain period of time and the role of other factors involved, can develop into a very large and complex influence.

“Butterfly effect” tells us that educating the children is no small matter. Sentence statement, one thing’s treatment, right and proper, may affect the child’s life; wrong and arbitrary, then the child’s life may be adversely affected.

Nine Laws of Psychology: Effects label

During World War II, the United States lack the troops and the war they do need a group of soldiers. Thus, the United States ** decided to organize the inmates in prison on the front line fighting. To this end, the United States ** Some psychological experts on mission of the prisoners before the war, training and mobilization, and with them went to fight in the war.

Psychology experts during the training period is not too much for them to lecture, and special emphasis on the most prisoners per week to their parents who wrote a letter. Contents of the letter prepared by psychologists uniform, describing the prisoners in prison, how the performance is good, how to turn over a new leaf and so on. The experts asked to send the prisoners after carefully copying their dearest. Three months later, the prisoners marched to the front, the experts have to inmates write letters to their loved ones how to obey the command of their own, and how brave and so on. Result, these prisoners on the battlefield to the performance of no less than the regular army, they fight as they said in the letter as obeying the command, so brave struggle. Later, psychologists put this phenomenon is called “labeling effect”, also called the implied effect on psychology.

The psychological law of education in the family has an extremely important role. For example, if we always kid shouted “stupid”, “pig”, “how stupid”, “Even such a simple subject will not do” such a long time, the child might have become what we call “stupid.”

Therefore, the mother had to quit laughing shame, blame the complaint, the threats and other languages, the use of motivational language, many children posted on a positive label.

Ten Laws of Psychology: Gordon threshold effect

Often in daily life such a phenomenon: when you ask for help, If you start to make higher demands, it is easy being rejected; and if you make smaller first request, the requirements of other people agree and then increase the weight, easier to achieve the target, a phenomenon psychologists call “landing threshold effect.”

Education in the family, we can also use “landing threshold effect.” For example, first proposed by the lower requirements for children until they are done as required, be sure to recognize and even reward, then gradually increase demand so that children actively make progress endlessly happy.

Psychological Laws in Family Education (1-5)

A psychological law: Rosenthal Effect

Rosenthal, a famous American psychologist, has done such a test:

He took a group of mice were randomly divided into two groups: A group and B group, and the keeper told the A group, said the group of mice is very clever; the same time, the breeder told the B group of the mice in this group that his intellectual general. A few months later, the professor of these two groups through the maze test mice and found that even mice A group B group than in mice really smart, they can be out of the maze and find food.

Professor Rosenthal has been so inspired, he wanted this effect can also occur in people who do? He came to a general secondary schools, in a class trip away casually, and then the students circled a few names on the list, tell them the teacher said, these students high IQ, very smart. After some time, the professor went to this school, a miracle has happened, that several elected by his students now really become a class leader.

Why is there such a phenomenon? Is the “suggested” the sense of magic at work.

Everyone in life will accept this or that psychological implications, which suggest some positive, some negative. Mother is a child favorite, most trusted and most dependent people, but also exert psychological implications of people. If it is negative and adverse long-term psychological implications, and it will affect the child’s emotional, serious and even affect their mental health. Conversely, if the mother of the child have high hopes for positive affirmation, by looking

Eyes, smile praise and encourage the language to nourish the child’s heart, so that the child more self-esteem, self-love, self-confidence, self-improvement, then, how high your expectations, the children will have much future results!

Psychological Laws II: transfinite effect

The famous American writer Mark Twain once in a church listening to pastor speech. Initially, he felt very good priest speaks, people moved, ready to contribute. After 10 minutes, the priest had finished, he was a bit impatient, and decided to just donate some change. After another 10 minutes, the priest had finished, so he decided not to donate 1 cent. Wait until the pastor finally ended a lengthy speech start the collection, the Mark Twain as angry, not only did not donate money, but also stealing from the plate 2 yuan.

This stimulation too much, too strong for too long and time caused by psychological or against the impatient very psychological phenomenon, known as “gauge effect.”

Gauge effects often occurred in family education. For example, when children make mistakes, parents will be once, twice, three, even four times, five times repeated on one thing for the same criticism, so that children from anxiety to guilt aversion to impatience and even hate. Was “desperate”, and there will be “I chosen to such a” psychological and behavioral resistance.

Can be seen, the mother of the child can not exceed the limits of criticism, should the child “made a mistake, only one criticism.” If I have to once again criticize, it should not simply repeat, to another angle, another way. In this way, the child will not feel the same mistakes being “grabbed hold”, tired of psychology, reverse psychology will also diminish.

Psychological Laws III: Desi effect

Psychologists Desi had a fable about:

A group of children frolicking in front of an elderly, sounds a great deal. Over the past few days, the elderly unbearable. So he came out to 10 cents for each child, said to them: “You become very busy so here, I feel a lot younger, thank this money.” Children are very happy, the next day still to come , and continue to frolic. Come out to the elderly, to 5 cents for each child. It also can be 5 cents, children are still happily away. On the third day, the elderly only to the 2 cents for each child, the children rage, “one day only 2 cents, we know how hard!” They were old people swear they will never play for him !

In this fable, the old man is simple, he will the internal motivation of the children “for their own pleasure and play” into the external motivation “to get cents and play”, and he manipulated cents to the external factors, so also manipulated the children’s behavior.

Desi effects appear when in life. For example, a child’s parents often said: “If you get 100 points in this test, to reward you 100 dollars”, “If you can test into the top five to reward you with a new toy,” and so on. Parents may not think it is this improper incentives, the child’s interest in learning a little bit to cut out.

In learning, parents should guide their children lofty ideals, to promote children’s emotional and interest in learning, increase the child’s own motivation for learning, help children gain the joy of learning. Reward parents can help is to learn some things, such as books, learning equipment, and some incentives unrelated to learning, then best not to.

Four Laws of Psychology: South Wind Effects

South wind “effect, also known as” warm “effect, from the French writer La Fontaine A Fable wrote:

Northerly and southerly than the power of the pedestrians who could take off the body coat. Stern first to a cold north wind, bitterly cold, the results of pedestrians in order to resist the invasion of the north wind, put his coat tightly. The south wind is blowing gently, suddenly sunny, pedestrian feel a few warm upper body, before the unlock button, and then took off his coat, the south wind won.

The story of the south wind has been able to achieve the goal, because it conforms to the inner needs. This inspiring self-reflection because, to meet the needs of the psychological self-reaction, is the “south wind effect.”

From this we can know, family education, the use of “sticks”, “intimidation” and the like “north wind” type of education is not desirable. Implementation of warmth education, more “human touch” type of recognition, training up a child consciously in order to achieve a multiplier effect.

Five Laws of Psychology: cask effect

“Bucket” effect means that: a missing along the mouth of the barrel, how much it filled with water, is not the longest piece of wood on the barrel, but that the shortest piece of wood on the barrel.

Disciplinary study of a child is like a large barrel results in each discipline scores are up this large barrel indispensable piece of wood. The stability of the child to form good grades of certain subjects can not rely on the outstanding achievements, but should depend on its overall condition, in particular, depends on some of its weaknesses. So when some subjects found the child’s shortcomings, it should be timely to remind children, so that in this discipline concerned to spend some more time to achieve “Quchangbuduan”.

Family education in the eight issues most likely to ignore

Family education nowadays, more or less, such as “responsive”, “neglect,” and other issues affecting their children’s healthy growth. Family education is easy to overlook some major problems.

Issue 1: perfectionist.

Some families, no matter how the children behave well, have not achieved the expectations of their parents. Parents repeatedly stressed that “next time better.”

Children growing up in such families, often at their own the “new requirements”, to appreciate the advantages of others, but do not know how other people’s “flaws” to tolerance and understanding.

Problem 2: talk endlessly.

Some parents used to constantly give orders to the children, or exhorted over and over again, or detailed arrangements for their children’s life, to not let their children have the opportunity to make choices for their own things.

Children of such families is usually less autonomy and will not take the initiative to do things spontaneously and often need someone suggested that the command used to listen to.

Question three: responsive.

Some parents of children in mind in order to become “good parents”, even if it means thousands of children by Baishun, even a very unreasonable demands on their children will try every means to meet.

Grew up in such families, children are often capricious and despotic, angry; accustomed to self-centered disregard of others feelings.

Question four: over-protection.

Some parents consider their children have been “thoughtful”, often children, not “open”, and do all sorts of arrangements for them.

Under the wings of their parents grow their children, often not interested in people and things around the same time look forward to all care of ourselves, because too weak, it will feel slightly aggrieved unhappy, or think other people owe ourselves.

Question 5: the health of their children too worried.

Some parents often worry that their children will be ill for no apparent reason, or malnutrition. Children growing up in such families the pain easier to concentrate on their own exaggerated expectations, particularly in the “sick” to get every possible care, and to physical health or psychological and emotional family members to control.

Question 6: severe and harsh.

Some parents think that sticks under the child. Want their children to the future of promising and punishment of education is not free. Children growing up in such families face used to look at other people to act, often afraid to express my opinion, fear of punishment, can easily form a dual personality, lack of confidence, the courage to accept new challenges.

Question 7: neglect.

Some parents are busy career or livelihood due to neglect of the child, causing the child’s spiritual needs and living needs are ignored. Children of such families is often difficult to establish close relationships with others, no sense of belonging, lack of self-consciousness, I do not know where to go, prone to despair.

Issue 8: indifference or weak.

Although counterintuitive, but there is still a small number of parents on children was “disgusting.”

Growing up in such families children are often extremely vulnerable heart, character inferiority withdrawn, often self-inflicted injuries; suspect others may hate yourself, and abandon others first.
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